Updated: Jun 17, 2020
Solomon Wyatt is my right hand and best friend. This week I wanted to take the time to truly introduce my husband Solomon (Big-we like to call him, get it? We call him that because my youngest son is Solomon too 😊) to my blogverse. First off, Solomon is a saint. You heard me right, he is a saint. There isn’t anybody that can tell me anything different. I mean, if I get mad and say he isn’t a saint that’s my prerogative (in my Bobby Brown voice) I love how he keeps me balanced, I love that he gets me (good bad and indifferent), and that we can do absolutely nothing and still enjoy each other. If you know me, then you know, I ride for my husband and if you have anything negative to say about him, you are barking up the wrong tree (just a little disclaimer before I begin).
When Solomon and I got married, we sat down and discussed our roles. Some people may not agree with these roles but, hey, it works for us. These responsibilities included; cleaning the kitchen, washing the clothes, and bathrooms (there are many others, you get the point though). I hated dishes and he hated laundry so we each took the other. The list grew, life happened, and we adjusted, it was great. Then we had kids, we didn’t sit down and discuss expectations of one another it just kind of happened organically. If organically means, me getting upset at him for yelling at my baby, or him getting angry for me putting the baby in timeout (what crazy mom puts a baby in timeout at eight or nine months, SMH).
Solomon then began to create these little standards for the family. Standards such as; how we disciplined, eating dinner together, goal setting with the boys, and all things Jesus. Note: I do come up with some great standards and structures too, but today, it’s about Big and he does a dang good job of leading (I may also be buttering him up a little for something I want later: wink wink).
The most beneficial structure I think he has created is 20/20. This is basically discipline at the Wyatt’s. Some of you may already be laughing because you have either been to our home or around us when our kids need a “readjustment.” Readjustments, are needed for all children. If we as parents do not build boundaries or have expectations of our children, they become labeled as “bad”. We label children all the time, but you know who also gets labeled? Bad parents who don’t do anything about their children’s behavior. You know the parents I am talking about, the ones you see in the grocery store with little monsters, who are falling out, screaming because they want a piece of candy. Or they are running around like speed demons knocking things over, punching and kicking their mom, and you listen for her big voice to overpower the kids spirit and all mom says is, “ouch, stop, don’t do that little Johnny.” As she stands there and is assaulted by her little monster. You grab your kid and whisper, “if you ever acted like that oooooooohhhhh weeeeee.” Compared to that mom who leaves her cart in the middle of the isle, her kid is in her hulk like grasp, floating off the ground, with a bit of fear in his eye, and you here this mom says, “you bet not cry.” You know what I am talking about.
Several years ago, Big came up with 20/20 to replace traditional discipline (whooping, popping, switches, you get my drift). I remember thinking it’s better than the kids being whooped in public. I also thought, my poor babies were going to be walking around looking like ripped bodybuilders. Like those caricatures that artist paint on a beach; with their big o’ heads and small muscular bodies. However, that has not happened yet and 20/20 is pure genius. A couple of things about 20/20, 20/20 is powerful, 20/20 is effective, and 20/20 will change your life. Think about it like this, your kids get worn out rather than you. Do you remember the last time you got a whopping? Well, I do and I remember my mom being super tired, not able to complete the full process based on me bring too big, too reactive, or just working a full day’s work (my memory not yours mom LOL). I know who that won’t be, it won’t be me or Solomon because we learned our lesson growing up (whooping was effective but, we choose not to work so hard LOL)
Let me give you an example of 20/20 at its finest. Little Johnny comes home with us from school one day. He knows our system; Come in, take shoes off, go to the table for homework, when homework is complete you have music practice. He heads upstairs for his music session and chooses to go play basketball in the TV room. Uh-oh little Johnny, you’re not following directions.
Since Big can hear everything, he stops mid-sentence and calls for all the boys to come down stairs. The conversation goes something like this; Solomon: “what are you supposed to be doing?” All the boys answer correctly in unison: “practicing drums and piano.” Solomon follows up with, “you are right, but since one of you decided to play on the hoop you all owe me 20/20. Now 20/20 is exactly what it sounds like a vision check. Just like a checkup with the optometrist it often is followed up with an adjustment. It’s a check-up per se, to see if you are doing what you need to be doing to care for yourself.
Since little Johnny has lost track of what he is supposed to be doing then he must follow up with the prescription from the doctor (in this case it is Solomon). Twenty jumping jacks followed by twenty crunches is most common remedy for not following directions. It could also be twenty seconds of something or the new antidote twenty cul-de-sac laps for cussing. It is pure Genius you hear me! Now you must ease into this with your children, I know everyone wants to run out and change their discipline structure but, it takes time. You need someone as good as a drill sergeant (Major Payne) to be consistent, or someone as great as Joe Jackson with his persistence of making his children the best, or someone like Big who expects all kids to succeed if they have standards and structures in place to get there. So if you want to be like little Johnny’s mom and send your kids to the Wyatt’s. Remember to send them with tennis shoes and shorts because 20/20 is bound to happen.